I suck. I am soooooo sorry! I was getting such wonderful responses and then I just disappeared! Well that’s life. I’m a teacher who does NOT get summers of and I’m planning a wedding by myself while trying to keep up with everything else that happens in daily life. I apologize! Anyway, as promised (I think…) I would like to share who I am able to successfully get Hudson (now 4) to clean his room by himself without me having to stand there for two hours! Here goes…
I love that Hudson has an active imagination and that he loves playing with his toys–but I do not love the mess that results. I think that it is important for children to learn independence and accountability from an early age. The earlier you start, the less work you have to do later on. This is true of most aspects of parenting–instilling a sense of respect for adults and others, being kind, saying prayers, brushing teeth, and so on. Being responsible for cleaning up after one’s self is no exception. We starting making Hudson clean up his own toys at age 2. Now, I don’t have to tell you that a 2 year old can make a mess much faster than he can clean it up! But here are some tips to get you started:
1) A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING, AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE
Now, I admit that I am somewhat of a type A personality, (I’m being sarcastic. I’m borderline OCD. So sue me!) BUT I do think that having a more specific “system” for Hudson has really helped him to keep things organize. We bought this shelf from IKEA (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S89842470/) which has two different sized “buckets” that can be slid into grooves within the shelf. We established a purpose for each drawer: balls, men/people, imagination (dressup), cars, etc. If her knows specifically WHERE things belong, he is much more capable of putting things away. I think (I HOPE) that this also helps him to develop a desire to be organized in other areas of his life (like school) in the future.
2) LINE THEM UP, KNOCK THEM DOWN
Hudson used to always ask for help with cleaning his room. It’s not that I am against helping him, but I have the entire rest of the house to clean, including my own shared room with a not-so-compulsive man-child. I don’t really have the time or energy to clean up toys, but I still want Hudson’s room to be well kept! My general rule is that if I play with something (with him), I will help clean it up–for example, building LEGO things. Hudson has a special talent for tearing his room apart, and it is easy to see how a 4 year old could get overwhelmed by the destruction his dinosaurs caused while playing soccer with the LEGO men who had to jump on the balloons to be safe and then ride on top of the laser guns through the tunnel into the tent… I’m sure you catch my point. This is my solution. A line. I started out by first creating the line for him as well as the rules of how it worked. My way of “helping” him was to create a structure for him to follow:
The rules are that he cannot touch or clean anything other than what is in the line, and that he must follow the order of the line. When we first started out, I would periodically return to his room to start a new “cleaning line,” but I eventually told him to just make his own. He still has a bit of trouble with that, as he like to start creating a second line before completing the first one–but that is a much better problem to have than finding him playing. This step has been crucial to his cleaning independently, and he is very proud of the final result. It also creates somewhat–I mean soooooomewhat of a game.
3) FINDERS–KEEPERS
I believe I am not alone when I say that I do not want to have to pick up cars out of my bed or 1000 other toys from all over the living room. My solution? Jail. For the toys, I mean. We have a “treasure box” in the bathroom… that can be explained later on. Anyway, if I find any toys in our room or the living room after he has gone to bed or when he transitions to his mother’s house every other week, those items go into the treasure box–something he is not allowed to touch or open. Thankfully, he is a very obedient boy and we never have any problems with stealing or snooping. Now, I don’t think this has really had that much of an effect on helping him remember, but when I say, “If I find something in there, it’s mine!” He does fanatically search for whatever items he left behind.
4) SHARING IS CARING
Sorry, I couldn’t really think of a better title for this section. I’m open to suggestions. Every year, we do a “fall cleaning” rather than a “spring cleaning” in order to get ready for the 1 billion toys, clothes and other various items that he gets showered with every year. We get a big bag and talk about how there are children whose families don’t have much money to buy new toys for Christmas, and how it makes our hearts stronger to be generous with others. Minimizing the number of toys he actually HAS goes a long way.
Try it out and let me know how it goes! Or if you have any other suggestions, please share them with me!
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